Maybe 2010 really is the year to expect the unexpected?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/11/us/11prop8.html?bl

ROFL

"you're obligated to not be suprised by my amazingness" ... <3

I gotta get out of here.

I'm stuck. I'm treading water. It's not because I'm trying to stay afloat to survive, I just have nothing else to do. I'm bored.

Slowly but surely ...

... the house is being cleaned out.

Garage sale tomorrow. I'm hoping for a big turnout. Lots of stuff. Lots of brand new stuff that I bought because it was "a really good deal!" and then never used.

It is always with the best intentions that the worst work is done. - Oscar Wilde

Yep, that's definately fitting. The best intentions have caused me years of living in clutter (at least my clutter could be hidden behind doors and I'm not as bad as those crazy people on Clean House, close, but not that bad). The best intentions gave me unnecessary credit card debt. The best intentions leave me feeling overwhelmed with my departure from the state of Florida getting closer each day.

*sigh*

Come buy some stuff if you're in town :)

The things that I hold dear to my heart ...

... aren't always things, in fact, they're people.

I probably confuse people often when I talk about my "best friend" because I have more than 1. Each has a special distinction, not meant to rank them, but to distinguish them in conversation. I genuinely love each of them, and know that I would not be who I am today without them.

*hugs and love*

[/sappy, emotional day]

It really is going to be ok.

I know that now. I knew it all along I think, but tonight it was solidified.

Wow!

I am the world's worst blogger, and I'm going to try to get better about that.

I am trying to consolidate my online ramblings ...

Here is my goal ...

- Finish moving MySpace blog to LiveJournal and finally divorce MySpace entirely.
- Transfer LiveJournal blog to BookSmart and get it printed and bound into a book to be tucked away for the days I feel the need to take a trip down memory lane.
- Keep my thoughts/ramblings to myself on this blog.

For anyone who may be interested in binding their blogs ... http://www.blurb.com/ ... they have an importer that allows you to import your blog and paste it into a book using photos, different backgrounds, etc ... I think when I finally get around to making mine it will be a scrapbook type project with my blog posts, pictures from that time period, etc. Everything being digital is great, but sometimes you just need the touch of a physical book.

23 months ...

... happy 23 months Jami. :)

Angry. Unfair.

It's 1:12am. I can't sleep. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm being selfish.

June 10th is 5 years since mom died. August 9th will be 14 years since dad died.

I'm sad. I miss her more than I often mention.

I'm angry. Really? Both of my parents had to die before I graduated college? Really?! Why?

I'm being selfish. I should be grateful for the values they instilled in me, the love they provided me, the roof over my head, the food in my belly, blah, blah, blah ... but instead I'm being selfish ... my parents won't physically be with me, walking down the aisle ... they weren't physically at my graduation ... they aren't physically here to give me a hug when I'm crying my fucking eyes out and can't sleep because I miss them.

I don't care that life isn't fair. This isn't fucking fair.

Settling into the new job ...

... well, so far so good at the new job.

Thank God I bought the iPhone ... the music really helped the day go by ...

It's such a bizarre feeling to get up, put on "normal clothes" and head to my cubicle (this week, I get an office - woohoo!) and sit down and settle in to work and get sutff accomplished. It's a bit hard to stay focused for 8-10 hours straight on the same thing, but I got a lot done today and they said I was a huge help, so I guess that's what matters.

No more "LOD! ..." No more constant interuptions. No more 10 minute lunch breaks. No more chats crammed in Ashley's office that really made part of the day not-so-awful. No more closing the door and whispering about the things that really pissed us all off. I miss some of that stuff. Actually, it's the people that I miss. *sigh*

I enjoy the people I work with, but I'm probably 10 years younger than the person closest in age to me. With the exception of Sean, my cube-mate, I'm the youngin'. I haven't really made many friends there yet, but then again, I was only "there" for 2 1/2 days before they shipped me off to Panama City.

I think I'll spend the weekend wandering around - go check out these beautiful beaches and pretty places. Maybe it'll make the fact that I'm spending my birthday up here, alone. :(

*shrug* I guess I should go to bed now ... back at the office at 7am CST.

Ch ch ch changes ...

My life feels so interupted, and so calm all at the same time. Maybe Julie is right. Maybe I just need to take my life, flip it upside down and shake it violently. Whatever falls off shouldn't have been there, and whatever stays is meant to be.

SAME house since 5th grade.
SAME job for the last 10 years.
SAME town since being a weebop.
SAME car for the last 5 years.
SAME
SAME
SAME

something has to change.

Some Interesting Things ...

#1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRH3iTQPrk
I laugh profusely everytime I watch this ... you should too :)

#2 - July 2009 Cycle New Store Opening : Bronx, NY
If Jami gets into Union, this is the store I'm requesting a transfer to.

#3 - Lemon scented trash bags ... sounded promising ... we'll find out.

--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--

Happy 15th Month-iversary Jami :)

A New Year ...

... this year should be pretty interesting. Jami is finishing up her applications to grad school, so by the end of the year we may be in Boston or New York City. I really don't have much to blog about these days ...

It's been over a month since I posted ...

... whops, sorry about that.

Let's see ...

- November 27th : Thanksgiving. Went to Jami's parents' for some yumtastic Turkey
- December 1st : Me and Jami = 1 year ... :)
- December 13th : Went to Ocala to visit w/ Jami's aunt before Graduation
- December 15th : Jami Graduated from UCF :) Went out to dinner @ Season's 52 after Graduation w/ Nancy, Doug, Diane, Jim, Jim, Me & the Graduate
- December 25th : Christmas. Went to Jami's parents' for some yumtastic Turkey Sandwiches and some great visiting :)

Pics and all that to come when I actually get some time to relax ...

... until then, just know that I love you and that I'm doing well :)

I am angry and at peace, all at the same time ...

... my supposed best friend of 15 years dumped me today. I was un-friended on MySpace and Facebook. Maybe the rocky terrain we were walking on finally collapsed. Maybe it's better this way.

I will miss you, and will always love you. Good luck. I hope you find happiness.

Why in the hell would anyone vote for McCain/Palin ?!?!

10 (of the many) reasons why McCain/Palin DOES NOT! have my support ...

REASON 1
John McCain opposes equal pay legislation, saying it wouldn't do "anything to help the rights of women."

REASON 2
John McCain opposes requiring health care plans to cover prescription birth control.

REASON 3
John McCain and Sarah Palin oppose comprehensive, medically accurate sex education.

REASON 4
John McCain opposes commonsense funding to prevent unintended and teen pregnancies.

REASON 5
John McCain and Sarah Palin want to tax health care benefits for the first time since the 1950s.

REASON 6
John McCain opposes restoring family planning services for low-income women.

REASON 7
Sarah Palin opposes abortion even in the case of rape and incest.

REASON 8
John McCain voted against the Violence Against Women Act, which ensures rape survivors are not charged for the emergency exams used to prosecute their attackers. While Sarah Palin was mayor of Wasilla, rape survivors were forced to pay for these exams, which cost up to $1,200.

REASON 9
When asked whether contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV, John McCain said he was "stumped."

REASON 10
In his 25 years in Washington, DC, John McCain hasvoted against women's reproductive rights and privacy 125 times.

--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--

I honestly don't know how any woman can even fathom voting for McCain/Palin. Why is anyone willing to let themselves be treated as a second class citizen or have their rights taken away from them.

If McCain/Palin wins, I'm relocating to Canada, Austrailia or the UK. I'm not staying here to have my rights taken away.

I <3 her.

She rocks my world. The sincerity in the returned smiles. The passion behind the looks that she gives me. I <3 her.

Perception is reality ...

... or so they say.

If I were the one filing for bankruptcy and was behind on rent, I sure as shit wouldn't be going out and having a really great time ... and if I were, I wouldn't let the person that I owed rent to know about all the fun I'd been having.

Perception to me is that I'm being played.
The reality is that soon I won't be the only one.

A different perspective.

Sometimes one needs to be violently shaken from the rut they wandered into to realize how amazing things are. I have been guilty of slipping into a mental rut about this time of year, every year since my dad died. The autumn isn't as vivid, the air isn't as crisp.

This year, I'm under a new kind of stress. I've never *not* been in school. It's actually kind of depressing ... my existence is literally comprised of sleeping, working and spending time with Jami. While I am the happiest I've ever been, I'm unsure of how to spend my free time. I enjoy just coming home and watching TV ... it's a novelty for me. No pressures of homework, exams or projects.

Somehow, in enjoying the peace and quiet, I let Jami feel neglected and didn't satisfy her needs to go out and do things. I didn't mean to let that happen. The other night, we went out ... we went to the marina and took pictures ... I like how some of them came out ...





Friday night we're having a picnic by the train tracks, with the hopes of catching a train coming down the tracks ... I can't wait :)

It has been a beautiful 9 months ...

Our first adventure was in December, when we went to Ocala for Christmas ...


In January we went to Stetson to hear Matthew Shepard's mom speak ...


We spent Valentine's Day at Lake Eola ..


In March we took a trip to Cocoa Beach ...


In April we went to the always amazing NYC ...


In May we went to St. Pete to go to the Dali museum ...


And then we went to Post Secret ... I proposed, she said yes ...


Then we started some renovations on the house ...


Then we went to Tampa to see Eddie Izzard and we found a cute coffee shop ...


And then I GRADUATED!!!




And then Heather came home ...


And then we made a band :)


Monday is our 9 months ... <3