In the grand scheme of things ...

my concerns and worries are trivial and insignificant, but sometimes, in the moment, they feel huge and unmanageable.

I feel like I'm standing at the end of a hallway with 2 doors. On the other side of one door, the sun is shining, the grass is green, and I realize how small and easy to let go of my troubles are ... through the other, it's an Eeyore day, and everything is bigger than I can bare.

At the moment, I'm sitting between the doors, touching them both, and my heart is too restless to know which door to push open, and which to pull shut.

Restless ...

2:15am. Wide awake. Brain won't stop. As I lay in bed, tossing and turning, the snoring almost becomes surround sound. It's comforting. It reminds me that though we aren't together, I'm not alone.

A New Year, or ....

HOW THE HELL IS IT JANUARY 4th ALREADY?!?!?! More importantly, how the hell is it January 4th 2011 already??!!!

I spent a lot of time the last few days reflecting on the breakup. I think that I have come to terms with the fact that I am likely to never get closure, never get an apology and am just going to have to be OK with that.

I have so much more to say, but just looked at the time ... gotta go get ready for work ...