2012 has been a hard but amazing year. January was the passing of a good friend. February was relatively uneventful. March was a road trip to NC with some stops along the way to friends/family. April was my 30th birthday. May was when I got engaged June was when I went to Spain/France July was when I came home from Spain/France and went to Dubai for work. August just started, but it's hard to believe the year is so close to being over. Kevin will be home in "5-9 weeks". The stress/worry/anticipation/excitement is having quite a number on my psyche. Been very cranky of late. Trying to get over that.

Need to get some stuff out ...

... and I don't want to whine about it on Facebook. I wish there was an option to post something but deactivate the comment function. Sometimes you just need to get it out, without the arsenal of not necessarily desired responses.

Shane died tonight. Last night. Whatever. Sometime between the most recent sunset and now. I got an email from Amber at 1am that said he died on his motorcycle and she'd get me the details once she had them.

Fuckin' Shane. That was my first thought. Crazy fuckin' Shane.

I just hope it was quick and he didn't suffer. It sounds weird when I say it out loud, but that is my hope. Even when times were shitty and just flat out sucked, he always found a smile, found a laugh and had a hug to give. He had a lot of living left to do.

I've experienced a lot of loss in my 29 years on this planet. I've experienced many firsts. Yes, I've lost loved ones, and I've lost "friends", but this is this first actual friend that's died.

I talked to him a couple of days ago. No more "Lady." texts. No more goofy YouTube videos. No more crazy Shane stories. I'm sadder than I've been in a long time.